Sando in the sun

Mission Rock - SOMA/Mission Bay/Sea Shanty Row

Shrimp Po Boy

I am not a rich man, but I'm also not a Po Boy. But if it came down to it, I would rather eat a Po Boy than a Rich Man. A shrimp Po Boy that is.

Mission Rock, a popular weekend club hang out for a rather different breed of night-grinders has recently opened up its downstairs kitchen for daytime samich grinders. The difference between these grind tribes is significant believe you me, but that discussion is for another time. Either way....its some serious grinding. Uuuuhhhhhhh (aggressive pelvic thrust)!!

The Shrimp Po Boy itself was quite pleasing with a skipper's bounty of crispy fried shrimps, topped with some lettuce shit and some saucy cocktail sauce. The shrimp seemed to be quality/fresh and the frying done was not too greasy - not even a soak stain on the buns! Speaking of buns, these were your archetypical buns of the Po Boy genre (not too hard or crunchy, but larger for the poor hungry man- very astute thinking on MR's end). Accompanying this fine samich-of-the-sea were some irregularly cut french fries - an exotic hybrid of the tater tot and potato wedge. At first I thought they were donut holes or something!! But nope, they were potatoes, and they were damn good wingmen for the sando - an impressive flavor duo that had me interested at first taste.

However the most pleasing aspect of my experience at Mission Rock was watching the crane on the dry dock lift heavy shit and swivel around while I suckled on some cold Coronas. The wide open views of the bay and Oakland in the distance are also enjoyable. And did I tell you about the wildlife?? They got real birds out there, and not just your mangy crumb scavenging sky-rats. And after the giant doobtron shared among friends pre-meal, it was a great fucking lunch. Especially when we saw Radioactive Fish Boy slither out of the water into an abandoned sea shanty with a big ol' fish in his mouth, that's when we got really fucking amped.

So on your next longer lunch in agreeable weather, forgo the crowds at the Ramp and check out Mission Rock. And holler at the Fish Boy! He seems to lead a lonely life.....

Hungrily Yours,

Sir Grindalot

2 fishboy fins up!

Veggie Po Boiieeee

Where: Farmer Brown’s The Little Skillet out of 330 Ritch (SOMA)

What: Veggie Po Boy – roasted peppers, mushrooms and aspargus serviced with home chips

For a vegetarian Po’Boy this Sando was tasty although there was an overload on mushrooms. It definitely hit the spot. The bread was fresh (crunchy yet soft), the veggies were roasted. This sandwich did not lack in fillings. It is serviced with pickles, shredded lettuce, tomato, and a mayonnaise based spread. The sides of house made chips are refreshing and crispy. Fried to perfection! To spice things up add a little of there home made hot sauce. All the ingredients taste extremely fresh and are picked up daily.

Not only is the food goog but the place is cute. The set up is easy and the wait is fast. The menu is small and delicious. People are friendly. I overheard that the shrimp Po’Boy is the “jam”.

4 out of 5 Stars

Wich Doctor

My sandwich from Kitchenette

LOCATION: 958 Illinois Street near 20th Street & 3rd Street in the Dogpatch neighborhood of San Francisco

Pan Bagna - Olive oil poached tuna on acme baguette, roasted peppers, olives, lemony fennel-arugula salad $8.50

The verdict? I love the concept of Kitchenette - use only the freshest ingredients, limited menu, when they're out, they're out. This particular sandwich would have been fantastic if they went a little lighter on the olive oil. As you can see from the pic, this bad boy was swimming in grease (get it, swimming?) Overall, 3.5 out of 5 pickles (the ultimate sandwich side kick)

Big Willie Style

Sandweak the Womp Womp Wompwich from Pal's Takeaway

$8, The Almost Banh Mi (chicken, yogurt, cilantro, pickled onions, chilis etc on a French roll)

2751 24th Street at Hampshire

Let me first say that I was very excited about Pal's. It's a new little two-man counter operation inside a liquor store on the 24th St., and apart from the fresh high quality ingredients (meats from Fatted Calf, Becker Lane and Riverdog, and farm fresh veggies, etc.) I just like the cuttiness of the spot and the entrepreneurial spirit. That being said, this sandwich was some straight-up doo-doo. Right off the bat I noticed it was served at room temp, and was a little small. I'm used to Saigon Sandwiches, the gold standard for banh mis in the city, and those feel like a hot little football under my arm on the way back to the office; Pal's felt like a football too, but one of those tiny knockoff Nerf ones that are impossible to spiral with. Boo. Let's move on to flavor: The good news is, this tasted just lke something my mom would make. The bad news is, my mom can't cook for shit. Every ingredient on this thing was supposedly sourced from a sustainable, organic local farm, yet there was a serious lack of flavor, owing in large part to stinginess with sauce, toppings and all-around unjuiciness. There's really no excuse for that--even when I make myself a sandwich shitfaced at 3 in the morning, I am careful to apply an appropriate amount of sauce, and if I add some little goodies like pepperocinis, olives or sun-dried tomatoes (if I'm getting fancy), I make sure that those too are in the right proportion. STEP YOUR GAME UP.
I was pretty bummed because I went clear across town to get this fucker and brought it back to my desk like a little treasure, only to have my heart broken. I didn't even finish it, which is rare for me--when I go to Saigon Sandwiches I always get two banh mis and take them both down without stopping to breathe. So, listen up, "Pal": I like what you are trying to do with the artisan ingredients, original recipes and speakeasy steez, but you need to get your shit together before you try and get up in this here sandwich game. We will eat you alive.

1 out of 5 Bootsy Bourgeoisie Banh Mi Bummers

The Cold Cutter

BAO NECCI Danilo Bakery

516 Green Street between columbus and grant


I have been here before and it was pretty tasty, so a lovely sunny day a few friends were looking for a sando i suggested Bao Necci. Why not, outside seating was available so after ordering we perched outdoors by the window.
Having been here before I knew they werent quick, so after 15 minutes had passed and 3 sandos were not ready, I figured eh they are busy give em a break. After about 25 minutes we were wondering wtf eh? About that time the little mafioso who took our order saw us through the window. A look of recognition came over his face and he immediately hightailed it back to the kitchen. Problem solved we think. Lost order, bad translator in the kitchen, whatever, its sunny and none of us are in an office currently. Could be worse, sanduskys will arrive soon. It was a good thought anyway.

Baby mafia obviously hits the ganja farm pretty hard because this little bleached hair penne pasta purveyor had totally spaced on our order! Vafanculo! short term memory loss luigi?

These i imagine are his thoughts: (eh, lookat'a that'a guy with'a the shave head...i bet he a hungreeah guy....i tink i see him'a here'a yesterday'a...or was that today'a? i fohghetta sometime....eh whereza me rolling papers, i gonna build a nice spliff....whatsa those guys lookin at? maybe they ordera someting, i gotta headache...thank'a god mi papa owns'a this'a place, i shoulda be fired)

This being freaking AMERICA we do as any redblooded american males would do, send in my friends girlfriend to raise hell with the stoner mafia. We got sandos and an apology from the mama-san of the house. Though one sando was supposed to be eggplant and it was salamie, we couldnt fight the pure bakedness of the itals, which as a former deli worker i totally respect.

Lest i forget the actual sando, damn good. I got a mortadella w sundried and pesto w all the fixings. Delicious. Bread is wider than it is long so it can throw off the eye at first glance, dont worry they come fairly strong. Quality ingredients, usually ital soccer on tv. Kind of a cafe bakery as well so they only have like 8 sando options but the ones i have seen and tried were grand.

Just sit inside and stay on top of them, make eye contact, let them know, that you know, they are totally baked and forgot your whole order.

3/5 Bongrips in the deli cooler

CABBAGE

Porchetta me horny

Price: $7 Porchetta on roll with wild parsley

Location: Roli Roti at the Ferry Building Farmers Market Saturdays only


I don’t claim to know it all, but when I see a sandwich that resembles a baby’s arm loaded with savory, fatty, and moist boneless rotisserie pork, I know my belly is on its way to epicurean nirvana. The Porchetta sandwich served up by Roli Roti’s enthusiastic team of sandwich artists has delivered both excitement and disappointment on a few occasions. Inconsistency you ask? Maybe it is the nature of the Porchetta sandwich that is to blame for my love hate relationship with this Ferry Building Farmers Market staple. For those of you who are unfamiliar with Porchetta, let me explain. The body of the pig is gutted, boned, arranged carefully with layers of stuffing, meat, fat, and skin, then rolled, spitted, and cooked on a rotisserie. Next, the jolly French man at Roli Roti slices thick rounds of Porchetta, layers it on a grilled hoagie which he rubs into the succulent juices that accumulate on the wooden cutting board, tops it with wild parsley and hands you over a creation that will either give you a 12 inch food boner or leave you questioning why you waited in line for 45 minutes for a sandwich loaded with gelatinous pork trimmings. However, with good karma and a bit of luck, the Porchetta sandwich with its crunchy salty skin and notes of wild herbs including rosemary, fennel, garlic, and lavender has the potential to put a smile on the face of samich gluttons everywhere! At $7 a pop, I would give this Italian piece of art 3.5 bites out of 5 on the samich scale.



Pyle Style

Samich with Seoul

Korean BBQ Chicken Sandwich; $8.10: Korean BBQ Chicken, mozzarella, soft bun

Where:
Hahn's Hibachi
1710 Polk St. San Francisco, CA 94109-3617
415-776-1095

Ahhh, BBQ; a thing of beauty. Marinated meat and flame, it is part of the primordial experience that has been in our DNA since the discovery of tools, fire, and masturbation.
Therefore, Korean BBQ combined into a Samich is an important notch in our evolutionary belt. Ya know those strange monoliths from 2001: A Space Odyssey?....made from Korean BBQ samiches.
Hahn's Hibachi pays homage with their BBQ Chicken samich.


Similar to the Philly Cheesesteak, this tasty samich consists of tender Korean BBQ'd chicken (beef also available) with melted mozzarella, all between soft bread. The gooey cheese adds a nice mellowness to the bold flavor of the chicken, while the bread is just the right thickness to keep everything together. One of the cleanest eating samiches around. Absence of lettuce and tomato was slightly off-putting, as they would've added a nice, crisp freshness to the assertively savory samich.


Overall, Hahn's Hibachi is a classic and consistent standby, whose samiches (and BBQ) I've been enjoying for years. Nothing beats a Hahn's samich after watching a couple rounds of hobo-fisticuffs on the 19 Polk bus line. Is it the greatest-all-time samich, made by a human? No, but it's simple, tasty, and comforting without the frills and glamour. It's Korean BBQ and Samich....need I say more?


3.5 / 5 mysterious samich monoliths


Teenage Mutant Ninja Torta

B-L-TEASE ME!!!

Now I am a working man, and a working man sometimes needs a hearty grind that he knows well and can trust when hunger is knocking at his belly-step. He doesn’t need fancy-pants hard to pronounce sandwich. In fact, he doesn’t even need to say a word at all – just a shout out to 3 simple letters: B.L.T.

Today I swooped in on some lunch action at Bayside Market, a branch of the RJ’s econo-yuppie markets scattered about the realms of the financial district. Now I have had some bad experiences with this particular grocery-delicatessen, but some fellow and respectable grinders told me that the problem was me, not the Bayview. Now that is a bullshit sandwich if I ever heard of one…..who designs a hot chicken breast so slippery it pinches out of the buns on first bite contact?? HUH? A fucking sandwich moron – that’s who. Come on! Slice that damn breast, it is a simple solution! Also, why does it smell like garbage in there far too often and why did that salad with too many baco-bits make me have a sickly baby belly for nearly a month? Aye there are many unanswered questions about this place indeed. But lest I get off track, I need to forget about that slip-sliding hot breastie and my other grievances and move forward.

Yes today was a certainly a bright new day at Bayview, I dismissed prior grub infractions and arrived with an open mind and a mighty appetite. The astonishingly school lunch-lady-like lunch ladies interrupted their smoke break to make me fine piece of BLT ass. Now let me get on to the actual sandwich!

The first thing to note, and not surprisingly, is the quality bacon Bayview has got cooking. On days with a blustery southward breeze, a hint of bacon essence can be sniffed up to 4 blocks away downwind – which is great, albeit dangerous. This bacon is thick sliced and not dry and crusty, a big no-no for BLT bound bacon. They give the generous quantity of strips (» 9 strips) an additional zap in the microwave as well to get it sweating hot flavor. The T was also well-played with fresh tomatoes sliced a bit larger than normal due to its headlining ingredient status. The lettuce was lettuce but also crucial to the combo. I put the B, the L, and the T in a fine loaf of Dutch crunch lathered in mayo. Yes siree, I was very happy with this BLT, it was delicious, easy to eat and filling and was one of the cheapest options available on the menu ($5.99). So if you are thinking – “Hey what kind of unoriginal lunch-doosh takes time to review perhaps one of the most common sandos of all time?” you just don’t understand - this was one hell of a BLT treat.

4/5 Grind Medallions (I have added an extra medallion due to the slandering I gave them on the store smell and hot shit breast sando – they are lucky I can show mercy)

RJ’s Bayview Market – Brannan and Embarcadero

Forever Grinding,

Sir GrindAlot

Contents (no longer) under pressure: Paradise and lunch in San Francisco’s Dog Patch

On Tuesday I had lunch at Kitchenette. I guess a few chefs from Chez Panisse and Foreign Cinema had some free time and decided to open a little sandwich stand. It’s located in an industrial loading dock at 20th and Illinois in San Francisco although the high-end attire of the people waiting for their sandwiches would lead you to believe it was closer to Jackson Square. Anyway, the sandwich was amazing—grilled cod with avocado salsa, jicama, chiles and lemon aioli. They also had 50 cent lemon ginger cookies, which were fantastic.

Basically, when a few chefs got handed lemons, they made lemonade–really good meyer lemonade. Because people are hesitant to drop 80 bucks a head on a prix fixe menu at Chez Panisse, some exciting and affordable options are springing up around San Francisco. Another great example is The Sentinel, run by Canteen head chef Dennis Leary. Delicious corned beef on flatbread with gruyère, cabbage and russian dressing for $8.65.

This is a great shift for the restaurant industry. Fresh, well-considered food is becoming much more accessible. As a result, the bond between chefs and their patrons is being strengthened. Fancy restaurants create an environment filled with pressure and stress. Once restaurant-goers expect a certain something from you, it can easily turn into a straitjacket that only gets tighter as time goes on. In a job where creativity is very important, the constant pressure has to be draining. These new, low-key options seem to be a lot more human for everyone involved.

Maybe this is a new career path for talented chefs who are looking for a way out of the pressure cooker. It reminds me of when a bunch of French chefs decided to renounce their Michelin stars citing stress as a major reason. “You always have to be impeccable. Like footballers, there comes a point when you don’t have the energy, the happiness, the excitement,” said Le Figaro food critic François Simon. One chef, Bernard Loiseau, killed himself when it was rumored that he was going to lose one of his stars in the 2004 Guide.

Most of the chefs who left their stars behind aren’t leaving the kitchen entirely. In fact, a lot of them are opening small, more casual bistros where they find themselves less boxed in and much happier. Olivier Roellinger left his three-star Maisons de Bricourt in Brittany to open a toned down seafood restaurant called Coquillage. He benefits from the relaxed atmosphere, and everyone who visits gets to enjoy top-notch food in a more casual setting.

The economy is forcing people out of the rat race and it’s starting to show some dividends. Instead of chasing fame and fortune, some serious professionals are rolling up their sleeves and creating new forms of life. At Kitchenette they’re selling great food at a reasonable price off the back of a loading dock. They call it “spontaneous organic covert nourishment.”

9/10 UUSD (Universal Units of Sandwich Deliciousness)

ExtraPickles

You can read more from ExtraPickles at http://onthebutton.wordpress.com/

FANTASY SAMICH

Tenderloin Snuff Cheek Buffalo Bung Burger

Munch Haven
Neighborhoods:tenderloin
1244 Market St
San Francisco, CA 94102
(415) 252-0247

Description-Nestled cozily between your finest tenderloin district prostitute buns, lies a war torn battlefield of flavor, delicately comprised of a variety of locally grown produce, with the occasional wiff of pure funk butt. If you notice the Top Bun is evenly sprinkled with supplest sesame seeds that food stamps can buy. I must say my experience with this fine treat was a memorable one...I did share it with my grandmother since she was in town from Poland and wanted to eat something shes never seen in her stupid Pollock life. The last few bites were the best...I had to dig my face deep in to a dingleberry rest haven of a black crevice for a scrumptious mouthful of buffalo bung patty. PURE deliciousness!!!!!!

8 out of 10 bubble cheeks

Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving: Turkey, Cranberry Sauce, Brie Cheese, Butter, and Arugala on a French Baguette

Cheese Plus
2001 Polk St
San Francisco, CA 94109
(415) 921-2001


Usually a Happy Thanksgiving for me is being completely shitfaced drunk by dinner and then passing out at the dinner table when the tryptophan sets in. This version of a Happy Thanksgiving is pretty good too. Essentially, this creation is the French Panini version of the sandwich we all make with Thanksgiving leftovers. The one amazing addition to this samich is the use of Brie cheese (chaz). If I could, I would take Brie cheese out for a nice dinner and tell it how I had a really good time and then never call it again. Why? Because being jilted will make Brie cheese want me as much as I want it (it’s all a game, am I right?). Seriously, the thing that makes this samich sparkle like the moons of Endor is this cheese. It also helps that the samich is grilled. It allows for the cheese to settle on the turkey and for the cranberry sauce to seep into the bread. I am not saying I would give up Thanksgiving dinner for this sandwich, but if my family finally says that I can’t come over anymore you will know where to find me.

7 out of 10 Golden Pickles

Sandwich Destruction

George's Zoo Liquor & Deli Review

Samich Name: RJ’s Invention

Place: George’s Zoo Liquor & Deli

Located at Sloat and 44th Ave.

Price: $6.99 with free fountain drink.



The hunger pains were striking after a morning at the beach, and I was craving a sando from Java Beach at OB. However, after meeting up with Falco (beach n bongloads) who is local to the Sloat and 45th St. area, he mentioned George’s Zoo as being a better sando and priced more affordably. This deli is a chronic little spot if you are headed to the beach or just fungry for grindage. The two guys in there were super friendly and after I ordered RJ’s Invention, he said I’m gonna love this sandwich and I’ll come back for another one. They have been serving this sando for 20 years but I’ve never heard of a Pastrami Chicken Salad combo before. He was right, I will go back.



RJ’s Inventions

This masterpiece consists of deli sliced pastrami and smoked cheddar with chicken salad smeared inside. I got it will all the trimmins; lettuce, tomato, pickles, onions, mayo and mustard on wheat. He piled the pastrami on and then the creamy chicken salad evenly gooped on top. A very fresh sando with a meaty creamy clean finish and you get a free fountain soda with your samich.



4 / 5 Gorilla Patties



Big Ed

El Tonayense Taco Truck

Cabeza Super Torta; $5.50: Beef cheeks, lettuce, tomato, onion, guacamole, sour cream, cheese, salsa, and soft bun


Where:
Mission District
Intersection of 14th St. and Harrison (In front of the Best Buy)
San Francisco, CA 94103
(415)550-9192




Review:


This is not your ordinary grease trap / mystery meat roach coach. El Tonayense taco truck serves up some of the tastiest tacos, burritos, and tortas around.


Being this is a samich blog review, I chose the path of the all mighty Super Torta. At $5.50, the Super Torta consists of lettuce, tomato, onion, guac, sour cream, mild or hot salsa, and choice of meat served between soft bread. El Tonayense offers a diverse selection of meat: from the traditional (pollo asado, carnitas) to the exotic (brains, tripe). A vegetarian option is also available for those who support the brutal slaughter of innocent vegetables. While the carnitas and pollo asado were very tempting, I decided to follow the advice often given in a monkey-knife fight: "Go For The Face", aka the Cabeza. Literally translated as "head", this cut of meat refers to the cheeks of the cow. Although the pollo asado would have been a more flavorful torta, the cabeza was incredibly moist and tender. Lettuce, tomato, onion, and salsa all helped balance the fatty cabeza, while the guac and sour cream added a nice, mellow creaminess.
The Super Torta was delicious as it was messy. Bread became a bit soggy, but everything held together. Good samich-handling technique and gratuitous napkin use is recommended. The service was no bullshit friendly and fast, especially considering it is was run by a crew of 2. The usual assortment of beverages were also available; including Horchata and Jarritos. I am a sucker for Coke in a bottle ($1.50), and the soft tacos ($1.75) are a must.


There are other El Tonayense trucks throughout the Mission, as well as a small restaurant. While this particular truck is not in the most scenic of locales, it is in front of a Best Buy.
As a movie-buff / samich-lover alike, the concept of holding a Super Torta in one hand, and say, a copy of JCVD's masterpiece Blood Sport in the other, tingles the mind and stomach.
Parking was a breeze since it's a stone's throw from the parking lot.


So whether it be flavorful asado, tender cabeza, or maybe even beef tongue ye seek, the tortas at the El Tonayense taco truck are a worth every peso.




4 / 5 slow motion, spinning split-kicks to the face


Teenage Mutant Ninja Torta

If this was prison you would be dead already

Sandwich: Subway Meatball 6 inch sub

Ingredients: Marinara, meatballs, swiss cheese, peppers, olive, jalapenos on white bread.

Location: These places are fucking everywhere

I joined some friends for lunch in downtown San Francisco today. I wasn’t left with many options for samiches so I went to Subway to get the samich that helped me get through many a munchie session in high school and college. Well, my altered state of consciousness must have been doing something for me because this samich sucks my balls. I have no idea why I ate this sammie so many times. The only bright part was the meatballs and I am only saying that because as I write this I have neither diarrhea or heart burn. Kudos Subway! My sandwich artist did a fine job stacking the sandwich with condiments so I guess I can compliment them on that as well. Other than that, things went south quite quickly. This sandwich becomes a mushy and uncontrollable mess after the first bite and they only give you four meatballs. Four Fucking Meatballs! If this was the only meatball sandwich on the market I bet it would be pretty good. Yet, when you have other meatballrific options (I plan to do a follow up with a worthy one) across the city you have to be real. By real I mean that if this was prison this sandwich would have already been;

1) Gang Raped in the shower
2) Made someone’s bitch
3) Or stabbed in the kidneys with a shiv out on the yard

Step your game up Subway.

2 out of 10 Golden Pickles

Sandwich Destruction

Where's the Beef?

Howard Street Coffee Roastery

Neighborhood: SOMA
180 Howard Street
(between Main St & Spear St)
San Francisco, CA 94105
(415) 344-0224


Beef Teriyaki Sandwich: Seeded French roll, beef teriyaki, provolone cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, onions, and jalapeños (made sure to request them)



As a native Sco Cat, I have been eating Beef Teriyaki sandos for as long as I can remember. They can come in many different shapes and forms, but like Biggie and Pac, it's about the beef. I usually would order them whenever I stumble into a sandwich shop owned by Koreans, cause they seem to have the best flavored beef (no homo). To this day, Kingfoot has the best beef teriyaki sando in the city, but we will save that for another review.

This one was from the Howard St Coffee Roastery, which is right by my place of employment. The sando they make there is quite good, although I have had much better. The pros include the flavor of the meat, the seeded roll, and the generous portion of melted cheese. It is also important to point out that the lettuce is shredded, which is key on a sando like this. Make sure you get Jalapeños added as well, a much needed kick. On a side note, the chairs in there are really comfy, which comes in handy because they can take a while to crank these puppies out.


3.5/5 Sandos

"The Bread Winner"

Nawlins in Hayes Valley

Shrimp Po Boy: French roll, breaded shrimp, cheese, lettuce, tomato, and a caper remoulade

11 bucks with a side salad or fries


Where:
Arlequin
Neighborhood: Hayes Valley
384 Hayes St
(between Franklin St & Gough St)
San Francisco, CA 94102

Review:

Although I have lived in Hayes Valley for the past 3 years, I only recently discovered Arlequin. It has become one of my go to neighborhood spots because I know the food will always be very fresh and they use the best seasonal ingredients. On this day, I decided to go with the Shrimp Po Boy. Overall, I thought the sando was pretty good. I appreciated how simple it was prepared, and how it allowed the Shrimp to really take main stage. The lettuce and tomatoes were cold and crisp, and the roll was nice and soft. The topper was definitely the caper remoulade, which had a nice kick to it and stepped up the flavor. It was a little difficult to eat, and one of my pet peeves is when you are eating a sando and the ingredients slip out the side. The side salad was good, but who cares, this is not Earl of Salad we are talking about.


3.5/5 sandos

The Bread Winner

Cheese Plus Tastiness

Where:
Cheese Plus
2001 Polk St
San Francisco, CA 94109
(415) 921-2001

What:
French Roll baguette, deli turkey, fresh arugual, Fig Spread, goat cheese, and pickled Onion

Review:
Cheese Plus is a cheese lovers dream! All ingredients are fresh and everything is prepared with care.

The sandwich is the perfect combination of sweet and savory. The hint of the fig and goat cheese creates a taste explosion unlike any other. All ingredients perfectly compliment each other. The sandwich is lightly toasted which creates a gooiness of goat cheese. I will give this sandwich and cheese plus 5 out of 5 stars!

Witch Doctor

Greatest sandwich conversation of all time?

Perhaps....

A discussion on Tortas

A few grind contemporaries ventured to the Mission during the lunch hour. This conversation occured upon the return to work.

Sandwich Destruction: Let the torta discussion commence!!!!
Sir Grindsalot: torta, how do I describe thee
Sir Grindsalot: ?
Cabbage: i think add avocado was a great topper
Cabbage: i would go no hot dog next time tho
Sandwich Destruction: And that it is inluded sans cost is a great treat
Sir Grindsalot: A base of queso fresca, creamy avocado, delicious bun platform and authentic tortan meats make for sure fire samwich satisfaction
Sir Grindsalot: but with so many slippery ingredients, it was high danger samwich fault zone - especially under the pressure of my hungry hands
Sandwich Destruction: I was plesantly surprised by the jalapenos, fresh condiments, and bread selection
Sir Grindsalot: everyone in there was latino as well, a good sign of latino eats
Cabbage: from an initial lack of customers we witness'd a rush of open border proportions
Sir Grindsalot: samwich immigrants risking their hunger
Sir Grindsalot: for better tortas
Sir Grindsalot: and how bout those breaded meats?!!!
Sandwich Destruction: breaded chicken was a revelation
Sandwich Destruction: but next time I need to try the breaded beef
Sandwich Destruction: BREADED BEEF!!!!
Sir Grindsalot: basically there is the bun bread....and then there is a meat bread - thin layer of casa-style cooking
Sandwich Destruction: What a concept!
Cabbage: Tortas Los Picudos
Sir Grindsalot: i think it is best to let them decide what they want to put on your torta
Sir Grindsalot: they are the experts
Sir Grindsalot: no mas pregunatas
Sir Grindsalot: unless they are calling a hot dog weiner a mexican sausage
Sandwich Destruction: I was impressed by the food and will be returning for a future grind but I am going to give this 3/5 chubby chicle saleschildren
Sir Grindsalot: I think I would give them the 4 - authentic torta grind in pleasant location
Cabbage: 3/5
Sandwich Destruction: then it has been settled
Cabbage: random hot dog knocked em down
Sir Grindsalot: excellente
Sir Grindsalot: haha
Sandwich Destruction: what was the name of the place again?
Sir Grindsalot: you love hot dogs though!? whats the problem senor
Sir Grindsalot: Tortas Los Picudos
Sir Grindsalot: 24th n Alabama
Cabbage: didnt mix with the rest of it
Cabbage: but not hard to remove
Cabbage: rest was gr8
Cabbage: name your sando
Cabbage: i had the cubana
Cabbage: mexican sausage is actualyl a hot dog
Sandwich Destruction: I had the breaded chicken
Sir Grindsalot: I had the Res/Milanesa aka Breaded Beef Torta

Just like Ed's

Toaster Oven
145 2nd St
(between Minna St & Natoma St)
Tastes almost exactly like Ed's Subs from san mateo back in the day, way back apparently cuz the interweb has no record of ed's...
oh well, ed's took forever, barely time to get baked before u have to be in 5th period.....

The team at toasties work it like Henry Ford and the boys before evil robots took our jobs on that working mans paradise they call an assembly line....Seriously, they can handle 20 people in 8 minutes! Everybody has a job, spreads/breads, meats, toastiermeister, vegg additions, cash n bag man. Solid performance guarantees a delectable bite each and every time....could be a tad bit bigger for your hard earned but they are not short on flavor fellow grindlers....whatever u get, get it with jalapenos, shit is nice son.

3.5/5 toaster jovens

Cabbage

In the anals of an office building

SNACK DEPOT: HOT CHICKEN CLUB
Riddle me this: Have you ever had an orgasm in your mouth? Well I most certainly have… Courtesy of the Hot Chicken Club from the Snack Mother Fucking Depot. Nestled in a large office building in SOMA, you have to be in the “know” to know what’s up. Or just know how to operate the interwebs. But in all seriousness, who would think to put pickles, pesto, AND jalapeños on a toasted Dutch Crunch piled high with Chicken, HAM, and everyone’s favorite: BACON. I will tell you who, a true sandwich jedi, that’s who. Top that shit with lettuce, tomatoes, red onions, a wads of melted cheese and you are in euphoric sando bliss. Believe me when I say that this sando is the best in Soma. George & his wife have been slinging these football size monsters since ’91 and have recently been inducted into the Sandwich Hall of Fame. These babies are a heart attack waiting to happen. And if I were to die because of it, I would be more than happy to have this as my last meal.

5/5 Hunger Medallions

ketch masta flash

Sandwich Assassin vs Avocado Ninja – A Review of Marina Submarine (2299 Union St)

The Avocado Ninja rules the Union Street sandwich kingdom with an iron fist. He alone commands this bastion of culinary excellence except for whatever 17 year old high school drop-out he has working the register. He wields a sushi quality knife and dismembers avocado after avocado in front of your very eyes. The sandwich goes something like this: long sub roll, choice of meat, cheese, mustard, mayo, lettuce, tomato, white onion, and a “secret” sauce. After that, it’s placed in an oven and toasted to perfection while the cheese melts and you’re left with heroin………… in sandwich form.

On this day the Assassin did battle with a medium turkey/provolone and defeated it soundly. The mediums here are pretty large and the larges are ridiculous. The Italian is also very solid and the meatball is downright filthy. Just ask old man Candy as he’s been stuffing his pie-hole here for damn near 40 years.

Moral of the story……….if you want a delicious toasted sub with a bunch of avocado (half avo per sandwich at least) and are willing to drop $7-$9, this is the spot. Beware, the line is long so a phone order definitely helps and all they take is cash. That’s just how the Yakuza roll.


4 out of 5 poisoned shurikens

Sandwich Assassin

Five.....Five Dollar....Five Dollar peice of shit

I went to Subway out of desperation and confusion the other evening. My pantry was bare, the grocery store sounded threatening and I needed an immediate grind solution. I was lured into the infamous sando sluthouse by that catchy "five-dollar foot long" jingle they've been saturating the airwaves with - what will the ad-wizards think of next? I won't lie, 5 bones for a foot of sando did sound like a pretty solid value in these tough economic times.

My Italian BMT samich was prepared with no care or love, with ingredients haphazardly laid down in the meat holders (buns) and then wrapped up in an aggressive "fuck you, you picky bastard" manner. To make matters worse the surly sandwich "artist" couldn't even tell me what BMT stands for - and the B is not for bacon believe it or not. People have killed for less!!

Anyways I won't go into too much detail, because everyone knows subway's story. It was a footlong of sandwich without a soul, crusty stale buns, and vegetables and meat that were dumpster bound in just a few more hours. Also, it only measured 10.5 " - not a foot at all! I was shocked at this, and am considering a lawsuit for false advertising.

Beware fellow grinders, Subway is for elementary samwhich youth who don't know any better and people who don't grind with their heart. Think twice before you commit to the subway, and never.....NEVER, get the tuna.

1/5 Grind Medallions

Warm Regrinds,

Sir GrindAlot

Yeah, I was in the shit

BBQ Pork Banh Mi sandolero.
def banh mi: vietnamese sando, using a french baguette type bread, sliced carrots and cucumber ribbons, w choice of meat, maybe some sauces not really sure what goes on back there.

I will be honest, i used to hit this place up all the time, then noticed a drop in the flavor level...so i cut em out of my vittles rotation....yesterday i was all irished out and didnt want sams burger as much as i thought when i rambled over there....viet it is, and the banh mi is back with a vengance
To me that means authentic smoked/bbq flavor, no thick chunked -but thinly sliced lean pork, & plenty of it!
try Vietnam Restaurant on Broadway just west of Columbus. They grill pork to order for their banh mi. the freshly grilled meat raises their pork banh mi to a different level.
sandwiches are huge and awesome... lots of pickled carrots, cilantro, pork... the perfect balance...drop some Srriracha on it and its a southeast asian/french disco in your mouth! (no homo) oh and their chia gao is ridiculous. price = cheap


4/5 pickles

Cabbage

Kick Rocks FLAY!!!

The Panini Press could be the best fucking invention since the BJ. Big Ed likes his Paninis like he likes his women, hot and gooey in the middle. Fuck off Bobby Flay, the Champaign breakfast Panini Throwdown was a great success and Champers killed the hangover. We had everything from meatloaf melts to Chicken Pesto, Classic Breaky , Steak n Cheese, and a 4 Cheese Grill.

My favorite had to be the Vallejo Steak n Cheese: Marinated and grilled skirt steak that is finely diced, layered with diced roasted red peppers, havarti and sharp cheddar, salt & pepper on sliced SF sourdough. The meat is engulfed in a 2 cheese melty love pocket and the peppers give it a nice zing and bright red color, and you can’t go wrong with toasted sourdough. It’s no Philly Cheesesteak, but will have you chubbin up and going round two on the press.

Pictured ABOVE: Classic Breako Press – Egg, Bacon, Cheddar, Havarti, on sourdough

Chicken Pesto – Grilled Chicken, Pesto, Pickle, Tomato, on sourdough

4 out of 5 pickles

Big Ed

A sando review by Zeke

Nopalito
Torta de Chorizo Rojo o Verde $8.00
Sandwich of red or green chorizo, crema, queso fresco and cabbage on a housemade bun

The torta was delicious. Different that the normal Torta you would get at a Taqeuria in the mission, this one was light and fluffy. The house made bun made for an excellent canvas on this new interpretation of a Mexican classic. The chorizo was spicy, the queso fresco was gooey, and the fresh avocado and crema tied it all together. Simple flavors, yet complex taste. A little pricey for 8 bucks considering the size, but local organic ingredients are not cheap.

4 out of 5 sandos.

A review from Sir GrindAlot

Twas a dark a dreary monday and the motivation and spirit to carry-on was at a low. I knew the only thing that could provide comfort was a samwhich of the likes that only nobility may grind. Several of my sandwich friends and myself decided to embark on an aggressive grind offensive. At 1130 the sandwhich carriage led us to a magical land of grindable bounty, also known as Ike's. I targeted the reliable, trustworthy, not to mention delectable 16th and Market to make me happy.

Now, I am no stranger to this tasty ensemble, but the lesson I took home today was that bacon, shredded halal chicken, and avocado make a fucking great team - a model for success at any level. They work together for a common good of taste, and with the regulars of lettuce, tomato, sauces, and yellow pepper - everyone gets a piece of the tastation - all between chew friendly Dutch Crunch buns.

I went at it fast and hard, it was gone quickly - but there was no disappointment here. I feel great and am being really cool to everyone right now.

Grind on samigos!!!



Rating: 4/5 Grind Medallions

Sir GrindAlot

A place for friends to share sandwiches

Hello fair reader or person having something read to you,

It is with great joy that I welcome you to the greatest sandwich forum in all the land, THE EARL OF SAMICH. Over far too many glasses of red wine a fellow bromantic and myself came upon the idea of a sandwich forum for those of us living in the bay area. Why? Because fuck yelp! that's why! Stupid fucking rules about swearing and not being able to compare food to various sexual moves. In all seriousness this is a opportunity to give a shout out(propers)to your favorite grinds whilst also being able to trash the sandwich place that keeps putting mayo in your samich (I SAID NO FUCKING MAYO!!!). Review the place any way you want to. If you want to make your judging scale 1 out of 5 pickles, do it. If you want to make 1out of 10 trannie hanjobs, do that shit too. Basically, just send over anything you want to be included in your review. Anything goes. There is only one question. Dost thou grind?